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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 15 (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script *Episode is about Dororo’s wedding plans getting ruined by Keroro getting sick* Dororo: *Clutching papers* I’ve been waiting for this day all my life. Went from “okay”…to “fair”…to HUSBAND! Tamama: I’M SO EXCITED I’VE NEVER BEEN TO A WEDDING BEFORE, SARGE! Fucking hint. Keroro: Mmhmm… Giroro: *Choked up in arm* I’m so nervous, I’ve dreamed of this since I was a little girl! Keroro: Mmmm… Little what…? I now choose to be a part of this conversation… Giroro: Oh, no you don’t. You’re staying out of this so you don’t ruin everything. Keroro: Hey, I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m super fuckin happy for you… You can only imagine the joy I feel. It feels… lumpy and sore… *Platoon sits in silence* Giroro: Dororo…did you… *gasp* for me…?! OH BABY! *Keroro’s eyes widen, pupils shrink* Keroro: Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning…I…like…youaaaaaaaagh… *falls* Natsumi: Good god, are you okay? Keroro: Kiss me ‘till I’m drunk. Natsumi: Okay, if wiping one glass is too much for you today, you need to go to bed. Keroro: ALRIGHT! But you’re meeting me at makeout point! Natsumi: Hmm...hope he’s not sick. ‘Cause if he is... I might...have...Oh god...*Starts hyperventilating* Fuyuki: Guess what Sarge! I no longer believe in god! AGH! Raiden: Raiden likes this status! Keroro: *Singing “Time of My Life” while drowning* Raiden: ...Uh oh, buzzkill! *Transition to Keroro in bed* Keroro: Ugh...Hun...Fuyuki... Fuyuki: We’re here Sarge... Keroro: Fuyuki...I must sing at the wedding... Fuyuki: What do you guys think he’s suffering from? Giroro: Being a whiner. You know, this was supposed to get him out of the way, not make him the center of fucking attention! Kululu: Don’t look at me. I only gave him one of Dororo’s cold viruses. Keroro: Tamama, report in. Tamama: I’m here, Sarge. Keroro: Come in, Hun. Opening cargo bay doors. Keroro love fighters, commencing attack. Engage. Brace for impact. Pew pew pew. The hatches are open. *Loud crashing, Tamama sobbing uncontrollably* Giroro: Everyone out of the room. NOW! *Knocks on door* Wait, where the hell...Damnit, Natsumi! Oh god, tie him down! *Cuts to Aki at work* Aki: *On phone* Look Giroro, I understand sending out invitations and everything, but why is “Keroro’s death” in a bigger font than everything else? Giroro: *Mumbling over phone* Aki: The wedding isn’t even mentioned on the front of the invite. It’s written on the back in Wingdings. Giroro: *Mumbling* Aki: I see. Well, try not to speed up the process before I get home, will you? *Puts down phone* I think I can fix this. *Cut to Fuyuki holding toy box* Fuyuki: Hey Sarge, I got that thing you asked me to get in my imagination! *Keroro has cloth on face* Fuyuki: Oooooh… Keroro: *Loud cough* Fuyuki: HUH?! Keroro: *Loud breath* Well now that I’ve practiced for my autopsy. Oh hey Fuyuki. Sorry I peed on your sister’s dream carpet. Ugh… Kululu: He’s been in the last stages of the illness. ALL. DAMN. DAY. Keroro: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, and a fat one. Mary had a little lamb, and then I stole her car. Fuyuki: Come on, Kululu, there has to be something we can do! Did you call Pururu? Giroro: *Trying to change subject* No! No! Look, get over it, Keroro's dead, I bought this wedding gift for Dororo, it's tacky and oddly shaped, guess what it is, wrong, it's a table. A smaaallll table. Keroro: Giroro love, what five words would you use to describe me? Giroro: Burning and can’t handle corn. Dororo, come down from the ceiling. Let’s go out for a drink or something. Kululu: You know, I’m surprised you and Dororo are even a couple. Dororo: Are you kidding? Giroro: We’ve been fucking behind your backs for months. Fuyuki: Guys, Keroro’s dying! Giroro: Don’t try to cheer me up! We’re talking here! Keroro: Oh my god, Giroro. Wait until you find out your brother’s coming to take over and kill us all! Giroro: …Huh…? WHAT?! Keroro: HQ’s sending his platoon to Earth. But bad news, he’s not gonna make it to Christmas. You’re gonna be so shocked. Giroro: You motherfucker if you don’t stop dying, I’m gonna kill you! Why didn’t you tell me this before!? Keroro: UuuuUUUuuuUUUuuuuUUuuuuUUUuuuhh… *Cuts to Aki arriving home* Giroro: *Muffled screaming* Aki: I’m hooome! How’s he holding up? Natsumi: *Sad* Hmm… Aki: *To self* Wow, if you’re sad about it… *Upbeat* Don’t worry, honey, I got it taken care of! Keroro:… I’m your uncle and I heard what you said. And Giroro…well, you already know. *Door opens* Keroro: Oh yeah, Natsumi! Fuyuki has something to tell you. Aki: And I have something for you! Keroro: *Flat* About time. Flash ‘em, woman! Aki: Here, Keroro. Take a bite of this! Keroro: Huh? *Crunch* Hmm, mmhmm *starts bleeding* mmaaaaAAAAAAAAGH! Aki: It’s called a “bleeding”! That’s how they treated the black plague! Keroro: Why did you think this would help?! Giroro: Wow. Even with my wedding day ruined and my brother coming to kill me, this is still the best day of my life. *Cut to Fuyuki holding Keroro* Fuyuki: Are you feeling better now, Sarge? Keroro: *Delirious* I feel great, Natsumi! Natsumi: So what was wrong with him, anyway? Dororo: We only gave him a cold virus… Aki: Maybe he had a condition that made it worse? Keroro: Oh yeah, I get really sick without any penetration. *Shot of Giroro, Tamama, and Dororo looking exasperated* Giroro: AAAGHGH…AAAGHGHGH… Dororo: That’s what happens when you miss a day? Keroro: Yep! So we can all blame this on Tamama. Way to go. *Pause* Keroro: Now go get married so I can fuck off. *Credits* *Post-Credits 1* Keroro: Everyone, with my last few minutes remaining, I’d like to reveal a few things before I pass. Mois, I forget you’re here sometimes. Tamama, you actually are pregnant. Kululu, I glued those glasses to your face. Dororo, I bought your little brother. Fuyuki, I’m your uncle and I heard what you said. And Giroro…well, you already know. *Post-Credits 2* *Kululu HEGHs the wedding march* Kululu: We are gathered here today because we sorta live here. So, yay! Let’s get the marriage thing over with. Do you, Giroro, take Dororo to be your husband? Giroro: *Hyperventilating* HEEEGH…HEEGH…HEYEEEEEGH… Kululu: *Sharp inhale* Uh-huh. And Dororo, do you copypaste. Dororo: I do. Kululu: I now pronounce you “people married”. You may now suck face. Giroro: *Violently sucking in air* Kululu: Uhh…now that you’ve had your practice run, try putting your mouth on his. Dororo: *Sweet* I’ll do it, love. *Smooch* Giroro: Oh! That was easy. Kululu: The new husbands shall now share their poems they wrote for each other. Dororo, you can go first. Dororo: Touch my toes. Then I cry at night. *Silence* Dororo: Sorry. I was going to finish it but I started crying… Kululu: Uh, don’t worry about it… Giroro, let’s hear yours now. Giroro: Ahem… Roses are red. Roses are red. Roses are. Roses. Kululu: *Sigh* Giroro: A clown will not basement and throw me in the bite me. Kululu: Thank you, Giroro! Thank you. We’re…just shut the fuck up. Category:Episode Scripts